Mr B and I had the chance to go to a three-day seminar in Stockholm WITHOUT kids. Come to think of it, that was the first time we got away without the kidlets since Edgar was born – and he just turned four…
The seminar was about Down syndrome and with amazing speakers such as Dr. Brian Skotko and Göran Anneren, a famous doctor in genetics who has done marvellous things for people with DS in Sweden since the early 70s and some other DS researchers from Sweden. Dr Skotko who I heard of soon after Vincent was born and to be able to meet and listen to him this past weekend was simply amazing and inspiring. Dr Skotko has done a lot of research about DS, about siblings of people with DS, about parents to children with DS. What he has done is given a voice to real people living with Down syndrome and challenging the stereotypes of Down syndrome with answers from the people actually living these lives and the people who have the experience. Along with that he has published like a trillion articles, written books and is also the co-founder of the Down syndrome clinic in Boston, MA. So to have the opportunity to listen to Dr Skotko and Anneren for days in a row was a pure pleasure.
The research presented is about what it is like to have a sibling with Down syndrome, what it is like to be a parent to a child with Down syndrome and most importantly maybe, what it is like to have Down syndrome. All very interesting topics, especially as the answers put out by society seems to have been formed by people NOT living these lives and mainly by people not equipped with real information rather than stereotypical thinking of what they believe to be correct. Research clearly shows there is a huge divide between the two.
I am going to divide this up into a few different posts in order for it to not be too long! First of is:
97% love their sibling with DS, 94% of them are proud of their sibling with DS.
About the 7% who feel embarrassed about their sibling with Down Syndrome, and the 4% who wish they could trade in their sibling with DS, the real interesting answer would have been to see what siblings to kids without DS would have answered. I am rather confident that number would at least have been the same, likely even higher.
What about siblings and social life when having a brother or sister with Down syndrome:
9 out of 10 say their friends are comfortable with their sibling with Down syndrome.
What about having a sibling with Down syndrome and family life? One of the most popular answers to why people choose to terminate their pregnancy when finding out the baby they are carrying has DS is because they feel it will put an unfair burden on brothers and sisters in the family. Here is what it is really like:
All of 88% actually feel like they are BETTER people because of their sibling with Down Syndrome. And 91% feel thay have a good relationship with their sibling with DS. I dare say I believe that less that 91% of the general population is happy with their siblings…
15% of the siblings felt they were asked to do too much for their sibling with Down syndrome. Sounds very reasonable, and is probably similar to how many siblings feel to brothers and sisters without DS too. Unfortunately I have no real percentage of that.
So important! To tolerate each other and to never give up,along with the ability to love and forget, what else really is important to teach each other?