PITA

Yes I am. A big pain in the a**. And you know what? I will continue to be as long as it has to do with my son.
We had a team meeting with Vince therapy team today, and a big topic was apparently the doctor I declined. I was then told it was all or nothing and that the doctor is not an option.
So I asked to have a list of what she will do and what type of diagnostic she wants to do (based on what theory and what TYPE cognitive, physical etc etc). The answers I got was ranging from all over that she is a nice doctor (which I never doubted), she has kids herself and therefore is even better (OK?), she does not want to cause any harm (I believe that as well), and how she is part of the team and we should feel lucky to have this type of expertise. I repeatedly said that I have not said anything but that I want to have the basis of WHAT she will do with my kid before she does it.

Needless to say things did not go well. After a while I had enough, stood up and told B I had enough of the bs and I am leaving. That brought an abrupt halt to the meeting.
I ended up going back but I was and am still so upset.WTF just cause my kid is in this program that does not mean that all types of people, regardless of who they are and what they know, can come and grab my kid. I understand that this is a lot of good stuff, but I WANT to KNOW what they do BEFORE they do it.

Apparently I am the only mother who has had this concern out of all the moms they have worked with (read between the lines, you are a PITA). There was never ever a concern or issue between the team and the parents in the past. You know what? I really do not give a ****.

This afternoon I met up with some friends, one who is a teacher at a special ed Kindergarten. I asked her what the parents are like there, am I the only one asking and wanting (demanding) to be put in the loop. To her knowledge yes. To her it seems like the trend (or whatever you want to call it) here is for the parents to just accept what ever is going on in school or at day care. I am so sorry, but that is not going to happen with me. I will continue to question why and demand to know why what is being made and what it brings and how for a loooooong time in the future. That is not because I do not trust others but because I NEED to understand to be able to help my kid the most.
I m so sick of this crap. I hate dealing with it and I hate going to this type of meeting that leaves me completely drained. Recovering and regaining energy from this is not easy. But I will, cause I have to. I am still Vincent’s mom tomorrow and the next day and the next. And as long as people choose not to want to understand I will have to continue fighting for him. I just wish that there was an easier way to deal with it.

8 Responses

  1. Håller sååå med, det är väl inget konstigt i att vilja vara en del av sitt barns utveckling osv? Men förstår att det tar på krafterna. Som tur är så är du ju en envis kossa… 😉

    P&K

  2. Good! For! You!!!!! Stick by your guns! I don’t understand why they can’t just tell you what’s up. It seems so simple…

  3. you might be a pain in the ass, but you’re also an excellent mom. Keep on going, I think you have to listen to your instincts.

    also just because no other parent is asking – they might be wondering but afraid to ask. Not your problem.

    we get reports from people who work with abby – like, “PT today, rode trike and jumped on trampoline”. or “OT- strung beads, worked on hand-over-hand writing” or whatever. We don’t get them every.single.day but I’m okay with that – she has lots of therapy. I don’t know what this dr is supposed to be doing w/ V but that seems like a simple enough form? they won’t even do that?

    anyway. you rock. xoxoxo!

  4. Åh, jag önskar jag kunde sitta bredvid dig och visa dem att du minsann inte är alls är en galen morsa utan har helt rätt! Alla ska väl vara en PITA om man anser att ens barn inte får alla sina röttigheter tillgodosedda?! Är inte det vårt jobb? Stå på dig älskade du. Jag är också en pain på vår förskola och mitt barn anses passa in i mallen…

  5. I love everything you said. I have felt similar at times. I wonder if part of it has to do with parents who are intimidated by having a child with special needs, so inturn end up having the “specialists” make all the decisions. I feel like I have seen a lot of parents act like that. But I HATE when I’m treated like I need to be reading about EVERYTHING under the sun, listening to EVERY specialist, bla bla blah…
    I stay informed, I read, Royce sees doctors and therapists. I am a very involved mom. I want the best for Royce, but I’M THE MOM!

  6. and I’m not going to conform to everything thrown at me.

  7. You are super!! I’m so proud of you, for standing up for V! Maybe the other parents are afraid to speak up, when they say, “all or nothing” — but you know what is best for your son. If they can’t tell you what this special doctor is trying to do … then why pull him out of the group & waste his time!?

    Proud of you!

  8. Stay strong! You are fighting the good fight and those people have no idea. We can’t all be sheep! And you are 100% correct that you cannot take the best care of Vince if you don’t know what is going on! Love you and thinking of you and your family!
    Chart

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