Sometimes

Lifes throws you a curve ball. That was what it felt like when we were told Vincent has DS. In the beginning you are sure that you will strike out. After all we were not prepared for that? We did not sign up for it. We did not know anything about it, and how the heck would we deal with all this now? What do we say to all the open emails? Sms congratulations? Messages on the machine? All the little extras that seemed so big and what about if  we did not do enough of this or that? But you know what, we hit a homerun way out of the ball park out of the tricky little curve ball we had thrown right at us. Vince is simply the greatest. At least in our lives. Then every once in a while, you run into the occasional knucklehead.
Last night I had a great conversation with one of the people who really hurt me herewith what she said about DS (the one I choked up on). She is a person we have gotten to know through Vincent, and as I said she is pregnant. 22 weeks now. She did the combined blood test, neck screening and all that. She is 27 I think. Her numbers were not so good and the Dr recommended an amnio. She told me:

‘Screw that, I am having this baby, regardless what it is or if s/he has DS or not. I will still love the baby the same. Just look at Vince and X and how cool they are’

It felt so good to hear that – not parsay that my kid is cool – but that she had actually considered it all. We talked for a bit more, and we looked at the results I had for the tests (mine were all lower risks than hers, and statistics is really just a number, even though someone has to be that number). You see I am not all against the testing when the person has the right to all available information, and not only to scary old stereotypical data. I believe that everyone has the right to choose. But that choice should be made with the latest and greatest data. I am against insensitivity, rudeness and plain old faulty arguments. You know it like people with DS suffers, don’t enjoy life, and are unhappy human beings. And the stubborn, insensitive people that choose to use faulty arguments about this with me…  
So, yesterday had a nice ending to it. She is having a organic screening (extra detailed) on Thursday, and I told her to give me a ring afterwards – or before – if she wanted to talk. It is good to know that most people actually have their head and heart in the same place.

8 Responses

  1. Jag har gått runt o myst sen du berättade detta igår. Precis som vi sa igår så är det ju svårt att veta hur man själv skulle reagera i samma situation, hon kanske inte ens vet vad hon sa till dig förra gången? Nu hade hon tänkt till och förstått. Härligt!!! Och jag är inte den som är den, Vincent är orsaken till att jag fattat betydligt mer av livet än vad jag gjorde innan maj-06. Sen har ju Lowa haft en betydande funktion också. 🙂
    Puss till er.

  2. Som jag berättade för ett tag sedan så tänkte vi också att vi kunde få ett barn med DS men var inte speciellt oroliga eftersom det verkar finnas så otroligt många härliga människor där ute som kan stötta och glädjas med en! Skillnaden med DS gentemot andra “symptom” är att det märks tidigt. Om ett barn t ex har ADHD eller liknande så märks det ju först mycket senare. Vi vet ju än i dag inte om Linnea har något av detta utan man får ta en dag i taget och njuta av henne som hon är! Visst är det helt underbart att vara mamma!

  3. I’m glad she’s come around a bit. Yay for you and Vince for setting a good example 🙂

  4. Very cool. Good to know that there may be hope for some people after all. 🙂

  5. Like Melissa said, it’s good that she’s come around.

  6. Åh, lyckligt slut! Du är klok som en bok min vän. Puss

  7. I’m glad to hear you guys were able to talk again and she is more opened-minded now!

  8. I love a happier ending. 🙂 Keep us posted on how things progress, k?

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